What have I learned after 17 years of sobriety and 15 years of intensive therapy? I am enough. After 35 years of self-doubt, self-destruction, and pain, I got sober. I got humble. I worked hard. I took one step at a time, put one foot in front of the other, and here I am. It’s fucking scary at times, but rely on those in your life that believe in you. Trust them and you will learn to trust yourself. 

I was criticized my entire childhood. I was never good enough, never able to rest, never able to believe in myself because I never achieved my goals, or, more specifically, the goals that were set for me. I never developed a sense of self-confidence. If nothing I did was ever good enough, how could I? 

Now, that doesn’t mean I should have had everything done for me and told I was perfect all the time either. Then I wouldn’t have grown. I wouldn’t have learned. I wouldn’t have figured out how to do things for myself. Much like everything else in life, there is gray everywhere. It’s not one or the other, but some of this and some of that. Failure is essential for growth and learning, but supporting children when they fail is also critical. They can succeed. We do believe in them. They are capable. Try again. Hope. Dream.

Dreams are possible. Dreams translate into goals, and they can come true. I am living the life I dreamed of 30 years ago. I taught myself how to live when I was younger, but I learned how to be an adult through the lens of addiction, through the haze of alcohol and drugs. I utilized coping strategies that were poisonous and harmful to fight through my depression, to overcome my anxieties, and I was not successful, not until I got sober. Not until I learned to listen to others that believed in me, and to those that encouraged me, and, eventually, to my own heart once the fog had cleared.

I learned that I am enough. I have what it takes to take the next step. Together with my support system that I trust and believe in as much as they believe in me, I can make my dreams come true. I have never felt more complete than I do today. I feel fulfilled. I feel positive and hopeful and, dare I even say it, successful. So, let your children fail, but let them fail gently. Help them get back up and try again. Let them know they are enough and have what it takes to succeed. Let them dream, their dreams, not yours. Let them ask for help, and be there to give it. Together we are enough. You are enough.